It’s Friday again and time for the Most popular Featured Weekly Q&A, ASK TATY.

Last week I answered why lover’s boots are under another’s bed.

This week I would like to follow-up with little things that will mend your broken heart after you are dumped, in a strong, mature, and heart-healing way.

Top 6 things to do when you are broken-hearted and make the comedy called you, last FOREVER:

  1. Post how broken-hearted you are on your Facebook, Linkedin, Twitter and every other  Social Media profile that has your name and picture on it.  This will help everyone recognize you in the workplace, grocery store and at church.  It makes it easier for your friends and acquaintances to point you out to their family and friends as the sad victim.
    Plus, the person who dumped you will love it. It validates their own ego and makes them miss your sour puss and desperate rants.
    Bonus, those who read it will have a good chuckle and feel so much better about their own emotional maturity. Watching you unravel and seeing your implosion is always a feel-good moment.  BTW, when your friends publically offer sympathy, it is just an attempt to garner enough information so they can embarrass you later, probably with their partners.  This will help establish the quality of friend they set you up with, the next time you need a date.  Friends love your misery.  Your ‘train wreck’ is fantastic and boosts your peers’ ego.  You may even get some free cocktails purchased for you.  Your friends know your lips are loser, greased.
  2. In your posts make sure to show how desperate you are.
    The dumpers will realize how sexy their desperate ex-lover really is.  Any possible rebound or healthy relationship prospect will also be incredibly turned on by your public laundry airing.
    Those who read it will follow your example and then you can enjoy the negative karma tornado you created, so that your misery will have company.
  3. Cry about it to all of your friends in person. There is nothing more entertaining and powerful than a desperate person.
    Your friends will help you to overcome your sadness by patting your shoulder.  Heck they may even call your ex for you to let him know what a wreck you are. This will most certainly get him/her back.
  4. If your ex already has a new lover, make sure that you call that person names and debase them as publically as you can. Another obvious reason that your personal and professional Social Media sites were invented.
    This strategy will display that you are over that relationship and that you are not harboring any feelings towards your ex.  What’s most important, your ex will instantly realize a mistake was made and you are the mature, strong, and classy one.
  5. If you meet your ex and his/her new lover in a crowded public place, abuse them verbally, physically, and shoot them constant dirty looks.  Make sure to get your friends to join in.  There is nothing better than a crowd of immature asses backing you up because they cannot tell you to get a grip.  Ask somebody to record it, photograph it, and post it on all Social Media sites, including YouTube.  Live action, immature emotional break-downs are the actual ‘train wreck’ we all talk about. Though, the former is way too long to describe the emotional cacophony of you.
  6. Lastly, stay idle, disband all healthy activities, focus on anything but your professional career or business, and make sure you eat more junk food and shower less.  This makes the photo journal of your devastation way more believable.

Keep your questions and stories coming.

-TATY

Disclaimer: Although inspired in part by a true question, the preceding dissertation is considered fictional and does not depict any actual person or event, unless the subjects’ rights were waived or they gave consent.

Taty is not a licensed therapist and is not for legal hire to fix your problems. Taty is not responsible for your failures or successes in any matters of the heart, or other.  Your problems are only fixable by you and this series is merely for entertainment purposes.  Any similarity to actual individuals or their stories is only consequential and the victims names have been changed or cloaked to protect the innocent.

Taty (119 Posts)