By: Kenneth Stepp
Writing about love has become my mantra for at least a year. I just can’t stop thinking about it. I process the deep questions incessantly, Having spent so much time writing and thinking about such an important subject, I am compelled to write another article about this phenomenon.
I have experienced real love only a few times in my life. Not counting family, it’s been sparse. I have been told I am loved by many. But as in most things, time really did tell. Most of these people are gone now. Leaving me with the big question…. What IS love? Is it real? How do we know it is here?
I will try unwrapping my thoughts or even conclusions in this article. First. I believe we have over humanized the word love. We love types of food, athletes, actors, places, even gadgets. I wish we would discover another word to either use in that context, or change this thing I will call “real love” to a new word that sets it completely apart from all other things we “love”.
Real love has some components that only real love has. It is not affected by time or space. If you love someone and do not speak to them for twenty years, you still love them the same way. If they move to another country. Same thing. Love never changes, it endures. I will try to explain that there is only one type of love below.
Love (real love)
These three are the most talked about loves we have. While I will agree these exist, I want to explain why. love is just that, Love. Then one of these three or maybe something else is added to the mix.
How did I learn this? Twenty seven years ago I was in love with a girl. Madly, and fully. We broke up, I moved on, got married, as did she, and we started communicating again after more than twenty years, we began communicating again. I see her a lot now, we talk. I still love her. That hasn’t changed a bit. But now when I look at her, nothing happens. The romantic component that was there faded, but love endured. It is the purest relationship I have.
Interviewing people that show unconditional love to others have convinced me that this is the make up of real love. It has amazing power. The power to heal, build, and bridge. Enduring eternally. Well. I have solved nothing really. Just processing more questions. The big one is still the center of my focus. But I will keep that one to myself for now.