2010/11/24 at 2:18 am

Dear Taty,
I received an email from my ex-mother-in-law that was rude and upsetting. I have refrained from responding to this email because I do not want to lose my temper on the keyboard. I need to keep the peace but do not care to be belittled by this woman. What is the proper way to respond to an extremely negative email that your ex-mother-in-law sends you?

Frustrated In Atlanta

Dear Frustrated In Atlanta,

Many of us have in-laws and many of us have exes. Not all of us have good relationships with them.

Exes take sides.  Your ex-mother-in law took her son’s side and that is normal, proper, and right.  Blood is thicker than water. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

This is how I see it:

  1. She is not a classy lady or not a lady at all.
  2. She does not a have good relationship with her son and is now blaming you.
  3. She is just a lonely, angry, and unhappy woman.  Maybe she hates your ex-father-in-law, has no outlet for her anger, and is jealous you got smart and left your bum early in life.

My only concern is how and what she communicates to your children about you. Be alert here, careful and patient. This can be very emotionally taxing.

With all that being said:

Apparently your ex-mother-in-law still has some feelings for you and she may be feeling the pressure of this divorce disturbance as well.

The best reaction to the rudeness of an “EX” (no matter who that is, ex-in-law, ex-husband, or just ex-whatever) is NO reaction and NO response.

Any reaction shows emotion and is a dangerously valuable, baiting-leverage your EX owns, that you need to protect yourself and your children. DO not let them feel any satisfaction.

Happy Thanksgiving!  Especially to all present exes, future exes, and those that will never have exes attempting to damage their lives.  These people sit right next to Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.  Enjoy your soon to be Ex-Turkey and Ex-Waistline and the rest, do not sweat.

I would say: “too bad you cannot keep all your exes in Texas”, but I love that state.

-TATY

Taty (125 Posts)