“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth
shut.”–Ernest Hemingway

“Give me the strength and courage to search for the truth, but spare me the comapny of those who know it.”–Pam Landsen

You can not go from having the body of Chris Farley to having the body of Lance Armstrong over night. I have lost nearly 40 pounds, most all of it in my gut, and I still have a way to go(about 25 more pounds I am guessing). But losing the weight is not enough for me, so as well as doing my Yoga, riding my bike, and walking the dogs, I am going to join a gym, get a personal trainer, and start lifting weights when the money thing becomes stable enough to let me do so. I like being able to look in the mirror, and not be embarrassed by what I see.

My dogs don’t like pretzels. I put two piles of them on the carpet, yesterday, for them to munch on. Now, I have crunched pretzels all about the abode, and the vacuum cleaner is still broke. I learned, after I quit drinking, that the quality of my problems is high these days!

I went for two bike rides, today, which is a super-duper world’s record for me. In the morning I rode to my credit union, which is about a half hour away on bike, and about 15 minutes to get back home, riding those lovely hills in the fun, but not weight losing, direction. Tonight I did four loops in the park, which is about a mile. The ride took me about 25 minutes to complete. I did a decent Yoga session before each bike ride. I am going to fucking be Superman, I tell you.

It is a beautiful morning here at The K Hotel. The animals are all resting, after having had a hearty breakfast. It is cool on the front lawn. I transferred one of my ferns, yesterday, to the large vase that sits at the front door that leads to this mansion. I think that it had outgrown the pot that I had it in. This morning,I rained water down upon it from a water jug, and it seemed happy.

When I am doing chair back bend, I don’t care who is Republican, and who is Democratic: I am completely in the now. Wow!(Who would have ever thought?)

I am snacking on a bowl of Trader Joe’s Chicken Noodle Soup that I have saturated with Garlic Powder, and laced with Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce. My tongue is on fire; my eyes are watering. Man, it’s great to be alive!

I can not prove the existence of my God, any more than any of you can prove the existence of Your Jesus. I enjoy my faith, though it may be different than your faith, which I am sure that you enjoy, even if your are Agnostic, or Atheistic. Religious Freedom is a great thing, and it must exist within relationships, within families, as well as within this Great Nation of ours. I love you. Peace be with you.

I did a search, yesterday, for home remedies for allergies, and one of the remedies was green tea. Historically, I have shunned green tea, but today I added a teaspoon of stevia to a cup of green tea, and added four ice cubes, and, now, I am really enjoying green tea; it is cheaper, and better for me, than the pills that I have been buying from the pharmacy to treat my allergies, which I believe are primarily caused by all the animal hair that all my animals generate in this apartment.

I have five dogs here with me, in this small space, today,and they are all asleep. Next to Henry, the great Great Dane, who lives next door, but who I am babysitting for a week, on the floor, is my prized teddy bear, The Last Teddy Bear I have that belonged to one of the kids, when they were a kid, and were into Teddy Bears. Henry can’t have it; it is mine!!

Up at 4:50. Let Freedom Ring. Henry wasn’t sleeping well, and of course, he was sleeping in the bed next to me, so I got up, and let all five dogs outside. For a bit, they all milled about me, thinking that something was going to happen, but all that happened was that I made myself some coffee, and sat down at my desk. All 5 dogs are now back to sleep.

Bummer. I spaced on giving the dogs their heart worm pills, and now I am going to have to pay to have another heart worm test done on each dog, and go through the fear that they might have heart worms until these tests are done.

Before scooting out The Door, to sell, sell, sell, I am cooking my two specialties: banana bread, and chili, at the same time. The dogs have been walked, the poems have been written; someone needs to clean the top of the oven, mop the kitchen floor, bring a vacuum cleaner over here, so that I can vacuum. I have the worst luck with vacuum cleaners. Do you think that it is because of all this dog, and cat hair that exists in this abode?

I got on the board tonight. It seems that when you don’t kill yourself getting there on time, and you leave early that you do better!!

I don’t feel like walking the dogs, but I am going to because that is the kind of Papa I am to these animals.

We have walked, and now, I really can’t see any reason not to crawl into the sack. I might watch my newest comes in the mail cd, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.” I think that it is supposed to be funny, but beyond that I haven’t a clue what the movie is about; I’m not even sure why I ordered it. Are we ever sure about many of the things that we do?

As I was still trying to sleep, Henry the great Great Dane, who lives next door was barking his buttocks off. I got up, and let him outside, and he immediately sprayed liquid poop all over the lawn. Often dogs bark for a reason. I let him go back home, and he kept barking, this time because he wanted to come visit us over here. His sister, Anna, moved fast out of their apartment also, and they are now both, quietly, visiting. Yeah!

Henry, and Anna, have not visited with us in awhile, and it is good to have them over here, today.

I like how my cats do not feel the need to move when I come their way, whether they are sleeping, or they are just lazing about the abode. However, I want my dogs to get out of my way when I walk anywhere near them. Morrison is good about this, but Dylan is, sometimes, slow about it. They are all, cats, and dogs, works in progress, and so am I. Back to bed, dogs, and cats.

Something that you don’t see much around here, that is happening now: Jaggar waiting in line behind Kobain, as Kobain eats the new cat food. Usually, Jaggar dominates the bowl of dry cat food, while Kobain is the master of the wet snack that the duo is fed in the morning.

Two things are new about this: !) when I had the cheap generic grocery store brand food up there in the bowl on top of the clothes washer, Kobain hardly ever ate out of that bowl, and 2) Jaggar has always had full access to that bowl by himself, and looks a bit confused by the fact that he has to wait, and that Kobain is in front of him!

I got on the board, last night, with just short of a thousand dollars worth of ticket sales. It was my birthday, and what a great gift it was to be able to do so well. My weekly goal, for this week, is two grand, and I hit for half of it in one fell swoop!

My birthday was most excellent. The high of it turned out to be all the birthday greetings that I received from friends and stranger via social media. Greetings just kept coming, and coming; it was quite a fun experience. My kids sent me special shout outs of, “I love you,” on the phone. We had all gotten together the day before, in person, at a great restaurant to celebrate Father’s Day, and My Birthday at the same time. I am kind of like people who are born on December 23; I, often, get a two for one holiday celebration.

My youngest son, Graem, and I, are saving cash to go to Ireland. My parents came from there, and I think that it would be fun to return to The Old Country with my son. I’m thinking to land in Dublin, where my mother is from, and then go to Kinnitty, where my dad grew up. I have been to Ireland twice in my life, but both times were when I was very young. The things I remember most are how good the chocolate was, and that my grandmother spanked me! If you know anything about Ireland, let me know what you know! What is the best time to fly over there; the off-season as they say? I hate to stand in line for anything.

I’m going to The Zoo on Friday. I have not been to The Zoo in decades. I am going to The Zoo with
a pair of seven year old twins. I have not been around twins since my junior year in high school, when I hung out, and played tennis with two twins.

Life is certainly rewarding. I am hugely glad to be alive.

I’m the man your mother hung up on

Selling on the phone: I have had a man threaten to have me arrested. I have had a woman scream into the phone, “Something is burning…I HAVE TO GO!!”  One woman was, “Watching John Stewart,” so she hung up on my co-worker. A man’s mother told me how nice my name was. A lady sounded like she was doing Quaaludes, so I let her go. Mary Bangs. John Raper. Les Stoner. There is a lot of singing the blues on the part of the folks at the other end of the telephone when I call them, and try to get them to buy!

I lost my job. My mother is sick. I’m moving. I’m retired. I’m too old to drive. I’m blind. I’m deaf. I’m dumb. Well, they don’t call themselves dumb, but many of them sure act dumb when it gets time to pull out the credit card, and give me that number. I have chatted with a woman about the sale while she was going through the drive through at Starbucks. I asked her to order me a venti Americano with room for cream. She laughed, and then asked me to call her back.

I am tired, today, and would rather be taking a nap, but I don’t get paid to take naps. “You’re wasting my minutes…” said one person. Someone’s email said, “proverbs.” so I decided that if I reached them that I was going to speak very Heavenly. They didn’t answer. Go to Hell! (Kidding. Kidding; I’m just kidding!)

I will always wonder if something was really burning in that lady’s house, or if she just, suddenly, turned actress to get rid of me.

“I’m at dinner,” is a leading reason to get rid of me. There are parts of the day, sometimes, where it takes courage to keep dialing. Some people have three numbers listed, and they don’t answer any of them.

No amount of wishing, or prayer, makes them answer that phone. It is more the luck of the draw, and an act of happenstance, that occurs when a human says hello into your ear. It is much like winning at a game of craps just to have them answer the phone. I don’t understand why people give their work number out to us, and then get mad when we call them at work.

Everyone of us who works here has a nice voice. You can’t tell what any of us look like.

An aspect of this job that I like is that I am learning to overcome my fears. They call me the hippy at work: my beard, and my hair are long. I’m letting my Freak Flag fly, and the people at the other end of the phone don’t know it.

It was nice talking to you; have a nice day.  
(All photos by Just Joan, except for the one of Just Joan, which is by Mikel K).
Mikel K (58 Posts)